Monday, March 28, 2011
I Never Thought I'd...
It was within the same year that I turned thirty-six, the night my parents confessed to me that I had been a twin, that I turned “speechless” into therapeutic writing from just one sentence. My parents had literally called to see if I was home and driven an hour to break the news that they had harbored for so many years that I wasn’t the youngest of three girls; I was a big sister to a twin brother who was stillborn. Why now, why tonight was my initial thought. How would I deal with this information? How do you deal with this information? Writing would eventually change my life, my lifestyle, my complete being, who I was, who I would be and the result that I wanted to see in others. I have always taken what life has thrown at me and made the most of it, and I wouldn’t stop now, yet I was wondering how or if I could take my mental exhaustion from the evening events and put my thoughts onto paper. I knew I had been given this information, at this very time in my life, for a purpose but would I be strong enough to deal with it and take on the challenge that I had been given? I crawled in bed, tablet in hand and gave it my best attempt, knowing I had NOTHING to lose and EVERYTHING to gain. The feelings that were within me rushed out with such fury they quickly filled an ordinary sheet of paper in one setting. I felt so weightless, as if on top of the world after freeing all those thoughts. Although they had been inside me for such a small amount of time, they had already made such a huge impact. I have always been a free-spirit, “out of the box” thinker, and I knew that night writing would be how I would express myself. Writing would be my voice! I began sleeping with a spiral next to my bed and would wake in the night long enough to write the thought that stirred me from my sleep. I never thought I’d have the courage or strength to write my daughter’s story. I could write my feelings, and had done so for quite a while now, but could I write someone else’s, someonethat I was responsible for, someone that close to me? Would I do her justice or would it be a complete failure for both of us. I have always taken on challenges, and pushed myself to the limit, yet would this be a risk I was willing to take? In her few years alive she had already experienced more failures than I could ever imagine and I had always been her support, her rock. My daughter is Dyslexic and early on in her diagnosis it was obvious that she wanted to take on the world as she was truly compassionate for those with Dyslexia like her and that struggled reading. She battled daily will school and tasks that came so easily for most kids her age, yet a quitter she was not. I knew she had a story to tell, just as I had, she just wasn’t capable of getting her thoughts and words on paper. Could I? Could I do this for her? Was this really for her or had it become about me or both? I think the answer still proves to be both as she and I are conquering the world for Dyslexia. I spent seven years vigorously researching and writing, following my daughter around with a spiral and sticky notes, truly living my life for Dyslexia. Through her shoes, I saw what she saw, felt what she felt. I was deeply saddened or completely overjoyed living and breathing her life. It was ironic to think I had given her life at birth and now she was what was sustaining me. We would be the voice of those who could not speak for themselves. My life had meaning, God had given me the ability to write and I was paying it forward. I began by telling her story through my eyes, as her mother, and quickly knew that the story had to be told through her eyes to come across to the reader as I had intended. Years went by and finally the last word was written, the ink was set, the tears of accomplishment were dried and the book was published! I had what I believed to be an amazing idea. She and I purchased a globe and began putting tacks into it wherever we sold a book. We sent books to Switzerland, Egypt, Australia, Canada and numerous US States to name a few. This was teaching my daughter that there were children just like her all over the world, special children, unique children with unique brains. We were receiving emails from people across the world that we felt like we had known forever. These people had experienced the same things as my daughter and could totally relate to both her struggles and her victories. Parents were reading her story and feeling as if it was written about their own child. The courage that I used to tell her story became her strength in her daily life at home and at school. She has been an inspiration to a countless number of people, Dyslexic and not. I never thought I’d learn more from my daughter than what I could ever teach her. How often have we heard, “one step at a time?” Yet do we really mean it? The size of the step isn’t as important as the courage we receive in the swing between the steps; which enables us to take the next, and so on. What gives us that strength? Draw from that. Pretty soon we are walking or in my case, writing. If I were to string all my words up as if they were steps I wonder how far they would reach. We’ve reached across the world. She’s reached right into my heart and that’s allowed me to reach so many others. I am forever grateful.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
When Death Teaches LIFE
(written summer 2009)
Twenty-one years ago, we were a young married couple, doing what young married couples do…watching television, because it was cheap. Interrupting what was probably our favorite show in the 80’s, the phone violently rang, jolting us from the drama that was unfolding on TV. The voice was random, not recognizable, and she asked for my husband. She identified herself as a nurse at a hospital in Oklahoma and stated that she was tending to my husband’s mother. She briefly explained that my mother-in-law had tried to take her own life, and had done a superb job. She plead to us that if we wanted to speak to her alive we needed to get to her immediately. We were six hours from the hospital and we knew that immediately for us may not be fast enough. We shared a small bag between us, grabbing toothbrushes and a change of clothes, one change of clothes. How long we would be there, we did not know, and for now it was of very little importance. To get there was our mission and we would worry about everything else later, much later. We drove across town to my sisters, and not finding her home, we left our house key in her mailbox so she could tend to our two dogs while we were away. We were out of town and on our way in record time, not pausing to breathe even, we were definitely in “GO” mode. We had a responsibility and we could not delay. The worst part of the trip was the six hours it took us to get there, not knowing what we would find when we arrived. What would we say, what would we do? The “not knowing” was the worst. We relived every conversation that we had had with her lately and tried to convince ourselves that we did all we could do, to no avail. It’s hard to convince yourself that you did plenty when you are up against a wall knowing that you may NEVER be afforded the opportunity to do any more. I remember I tried either to reassure my husband or I just remained completely quiet for the entire ride. I assure you, that you hear every noise the car makes when no words are spoken, but oh how LOUD it is in your head. Every moment continuing; still reliving the things that we could have done. Over and over I repeated the same words in my head, “why was this happening?” We were too young for this. We were the children after all and this certainly wasn’t in our days plan. We weren’t parents and certainly didn’t know how to be parents. Suddenly, life changed for us! We were on our way to the beginning of some very grown up decisions. Decisions we never planned on making till we were much older. Some we didn’t even understand. We arrived at the hospital late Sunday night, finding her in a coma…to never gain consciousness. They began explaining to us all the things that had gone wrong, and we longed for just one thing to go right to give us some HOPE. We quickly learned words like brain damage, ventilator and fetal position. We suddenly used these words interchangeably like they had been a part of our lives forever. She was in a very small hospital, allowing us to stay in the ICU waiting room around the clock. We did not sleep, not one wink until Thursday night. The only “normal” thing we did was brush our teeth in the mornings, in the public bathroom. This small act of “normalcy” was a welcomed event, knowing if the morning came that she had survived one more day. We had her in our lives for one more day. Wednesday night came and we had both just left her room, watching her lie there in the fetal position so helpless. Hearing the words “brain-dead”, “never be the same”, “a vegetable” played over and over in my head like a continuous recording that couldn’t be turned off. “Why couldn’t we help her?” Every time I saw her I put more chap stick on her parched lips, telling myself that I was helping. I told her every time I was in there alone how I would always take care of her son. How I would love him forever and not let her down. This last visit I had pleaded with her to just “let go”, that “it was ok.” I was twenty-four years old, repeating words and phrases that were intended for someone much older. I was becoming not only the wife but the mother. My husband visited her again and upon him entering the waiting room we heard a loud voice over the PA system repeat, “RESPIRATORY THERAPY TO ICU”, “ICU CODE BLUE”, echoing throughout the small hospital. We knew they were speaking of her and we began to pray harder and harder. At this point, tears were streaming down both of our faces. I prayed for wisdom. Words have always come easy for me but suddenly I prayed, “Lord, please give me the right words to say.” Suddenly, almost in unison we revealed to each other that the last time we were in her room we had both plead to her to just “let go”, we would handle the rest. Knowing that they were vigorously working on her as we had this conversation, somehow I felt a moment of relief. They called us back and told us if possible she had taken a “turn for the worse”. This began the “beginning of the end for us.” We began speaking honestly to each other about “letting her go.” We spent the rest of the night and the early part of the next day reading and signing papers that would allow us to end her life. What a decision this was, so much of a decision that I wouldn’t allow my husband’s name to be the only signature! I signed my name right below his as this was a decision that we would make together. This was the biggest decision we had made to date. This was the biggest way I could support him. This is how i would SHOW MY LOVE, by BEING THERE FOR HIM, NOT ONLY NOW, but ALWAYS. The hospital staff was AWESOME!! They were so kind to us and treated us like family. They treated her as if she were their family, as if she were their mother. Thursday would prove to be the last day we would get to have her. We removed her from the only thing sustaining what miserable amount of life she had left. “LIVING” like this would not be what she wanted! “LIVING” like a vegetable would not be what she wanted. “LIVING” in a nursing home at the mere age of 44 WOULD NOT BE WHAT SHE WANTED! The end was here! We stayed with her until her blood pressure was in single digits. We saw her at peace when it was over. We saw her tired body placed in a body bag, helpless and so fragile. Thursday evening we found a motel room and began calling and making arrangements with the funeral home, church, friends, etc. Thursday night we slept. We slept for the first time since Saturday night. Finally it was over! OUR LIFE HAD TRULY CHANGED! When the services were over and we began our car ride back to Texas I began thinking to myself, “what would I learn from this?” I believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason and I would not let this pass by without learning something! I told myself, “I WILL LET HER DEATH TEACH ME TO LIVE!” I would LIVE not only for me, but for her and for her son! When we would have children I would LIVE for them!! I would never put my children in these shoes. I would never make them have to grow up so quickly if I could help it. Ironically as I write this I am remembering in just over two months we will celebrate our 25th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY! What a long way we have come in 21 years. I have been there everyday, all 7,665 of them, LIVING my life, showing my husband that LIFE DOES GO ON. We are here for a reason and I am going to make it count.
“LIVE as if you were to die tomorrow”, “LEARN as if you were to live forever.” We are NEVER too old to stop learning!
I WILL LIVE, my cup will not be half full, it will be OVERFLOWING. I WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE. I will make the world different because I WAS HERE. (written summer 2009)
Twenty-one years ago, we were a young married couple, doing what young married couples do…watching television, because it was cheap. Interrupting what was probably our favorite show in the 80’s, the phone violently rang, jolting us from the drama that was unfolding on TV. The voice was random, not recognizable, and she asked for my husband. She identified herself as a nurse at a hospital in Oklahoma and stated that she was tending to my husband’s mother. She briefly explained that my mother-in-law had tried to take her own life, and had done a superb job. She plead to us that if we wanted to speak to her alive we needed to get to her immediately. We were six hours from the hospital and we knew that immediately for us may not be fast enough. We shared a small bag between us, grabbing toothbrushes and a change of clothes, one change of clothes. How long we would be there, we did not know, and for now it was of very little importance. To get there was our mission and we would worry about everything else later, much later. We drove across town to my sisters, and not finding her home, we left our house key in her mailbox so she could tend to our two dogs while we were away. We were out of town and on our way in record time, not pausing to breathe even, we were definitely in “GO” mode. We had a responsibility and we could not delay. The worst part of the trip was the six hours it took us to get there, not knowing what we would find when we arrived. What would we say, what would we do? The “not knowing” was the worst. We relived every conversation that we had had with her lately and tried to convince ourselves that we did all we could do, to no avail. It’s hard to convince yourself that you did plenty when you are up against a wall knowing that you may NEVER be afforded the opportunity to do any more. I remember I tried either to reassure my husband or I just remained completely quiet for the entire ride. I assure you, that you hear every noise the car makes when no words are spoken, but oh how LOUD it is in your head. Every moment continuing; still reliving the things that we could have done. Over and over I repeated the same words in my head, “why was this happening?” We were too young for this. We were the children after all and this certainly wasn’t in our days plan. We weren’t parents and certainly didn’t know how to be parents. Suddenly, life changed for us! We were on our way to the beginning of some very grown up decisions. Decisions we never planned on making till we were much older. Some we didn’t even understand. We arrived at the hospital late Sunday night, finding her in a coma…to never gain consciousness. They began explaining to us all the things that had gone wrong, and we longed for just one thing to go right to give us some HOPE. We quickly learned words like brain damage, ventilator and fetal position. We suddenly used these words interchangeably like they had been a part of our lives forever. She was in a very small hospital, allowing us to stay in the ICU waiting room around the clock. We did not sleep, not one wink until Thursday night. The only “normal” thing we did was brush our teeth in the mornings, in the public bathroom. This small act of “normalcy” was a welcomed event, knowing if the morning came that she had survived one more day. We had her in our lives for one more day. Wednesday night came and we had both just left her room, watching her lie there in the fetal position so helpless. Hearing the words “brain-dead”, “never be the same”, “a vegetable” played over and over in my head like a continuous recording that couldn’t be turned off. “Why couldn’t we help her?” Every time I saw her I put more chap stick on her parched lips, telling myself that I was helping. I told her every time I was in there alone how I would always take care of her son. How I would love him forever and not let her down. This last visit I had pleaded with her to just “let go”, that “it was ok.” I was twenty-four years old, repeating words and phrases that were intended for someone much older. I was becoming not only the wife but the mother. My husband visited her again and upon him entering the waiting room we heard a loud voice over the PA system repeat, “RESPIRATORY THERAPY TO ICU”, “ICU CODE BLUE”, echoing throughout the small hospital. We knew they were speaking of her and we began to pray harder and harder. At this point, tears were streaming down both of our faces. I prayed for wisdom. Words have always come easy for me but suddenly I prayed, “Lord, please give me the right words to say.” Suddenly, almost in unison we revealed to each other that the last time we were in her room we had both plead to her to just “let go”, we would handle the rest. Knowing that they were vigorously working on her as we had this conversation, somehow I felt a moment of relief. They called us back and told us if possible she had taken a “turn for the worse”. This began the “beginning of the end for us.” We began speaking honestly to each other about “letting her go.” We spent the rest of the night and the early part of the next day reading and signing papers that would allow us to end her life. What a decision this was, so much of a decision that I wouldn’t allow my husband’s name to be the only signature! I signed my name right below his as this was a decision that we would make together. This was the biggest decision we had made to date. This was the biggest way I could support him. This is how i would SHOW MY LOVE, by BEING THERE FOR HIM, NOT ONLY NOW, but ALWAYS. The hospital staff was AWESOME!! They were so kind to us and treated us like family. They treated her as if she were their family, as if she were their mother. Thursday would prove to be the last day we would get to have her. We removed her from the only thing sustaining what miserable amount of life she had left. “LIVING” like this would not be what she wanted! “LIVING” like a vegetable would not be what she wanted. “LIVING” in a nursing home at the mere age of 44 WOULD NOT BE WHAT SHE WANTED! The end was here! We stayed with her until her blood pressure was in single digits. We saw her at peace when it was over. We saw her tired body placed in a body bag, helpless and so fragile. Thursday evening we found a motel room and began calling and making arrangements with the funeral home, church, friends, etc. Thursday night we slept. We slept for the first time since Saturday night. Finally it was over! OUR LIFE HAD TRULY CHANGED! When the services were over and we began our car ride back to Texas I began thinking to myself, “what would I learn from this?” I believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason and I would not let this pass by without learning something! I told myself, “I WILL LET HER DEATH TEACH ME TO LIVE!” I would LIVE not only for me, but for her and for her son! When we would have children I would LIVE for them!! I would never put my children in these shoes. I would never make them have to grow up so quickly if I could help it. Ironically as I write this I am remembering in just over two months we will celebrate our 25th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY! What a long way we have come in 21 years. I have been there everyday, all 7,665 of them, LIVING my life, showing my husband that LIFE DOES GO ON. We are here for a reason and I am going to make it count.
“LIVE as if you were to die tomorrow”, “LEARN as if you were to live forever.” We are NEVER too old to stop learning!
I WILL LIVE, my cup will not be half full, it will be OVERFLOWING. I WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE. I will make the world different because I WAS HERE. (written summer 2009)
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
conversation gone vanilla
yesterday i took taylor and ashley to the mall to ice skate, and anyone who knows me knows that i am not too comfortable there. one, i am not much of a shopper and two i'm not too fond of noisy crowds. people watching i love. after talking to kim and realizing that we can see cher when we go to vegas this spring i decided that i would try out my new ipod and walk around the mall giving myself a little cher refresher course. i plugged in my earphones and tucked my phone in my front pocket and i was off. i soon began to wonder how loud i was singing, since it's hard to tell while wearing earphones. most everyone i passed either was randomly talking into a phone, listening with earphones or talking to thin air via the cockroach looking devise in their ear. occassionally if we made eye contact we would give very vague gestures as to not interupt our own conversation or mini concert. for probably the first time ever, I LOOKED NORMAL AT THE MALL, but everything felt so wrong, so cold, so disconnected. i couldn't help but wonder in amazement how the world and times had changed as i realized that communication had become so vanilla. this makes me wonder that if i really were to fit in i wouldn't be writing this at all i would be sending this as a TEXT. i do have to admit that i did remember those manners that i am ever fond of. when i walked into a store, before being greeted by the salesclerk i would take one earphone out so i could hear their kind gestures and return the same. as i type this it makes me long for a big chief tablet and a #2 pencil!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
a farewell to LIBBY
listen to the words from the following song…
I once was fatherless,
a stranger with no hope;
Your kindness wakened me,
Awakened me, from my sleep
it’s ironic that libby died in her sleep…
Into marvelous light I'm running,
Out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross, you are the truth
You are the life, you are the way
Lift my hands and spin around,
See the light that I have found.
Oh the marvelous light
Marvelous light
Psalm 27:1 says that the lord is my light and the one who saves me
We must TRUST god. We must trust not only that HE does what is best, but that he knows what is ahead. Could death be god’s GRACE for libby? We ask for god’s grace, but his answer is not always the answer we want. We all know that libby has struggled daily with her diabetes and we must still believe that GOD IS IN CONTROL…he knew what was BEST for libby.
Corrie ten boom once said, “when the train goes through a tunnel and the world gets dark, do you jump out? Of course not. You sit still and TRUST the engineer to get you through”
One lady describes a unique experience in her life as this…
up ahead I saw three construction workers diligently working away in the heat, so I went up to them and asked if they wanted some water.. they said, “yes, please”. I went to the nearest store and bought 3 bottles of water. The workers were immensely pleased and wanted to pay for the drinks. I told them it was free. They were very shocked. This was a new experience for me also. I was never that generous, but more importantly, I would have never SEEN THEIR THIRST. Normally I would have walked past them, not thinking twice if they were thirsty.
LIBBY LOOKED FOR THIRSTY PEOPLE…
She DID FOR OTHERS with what she had until her last breath. She shared her home, her food, her LOVE everyday with someone. You all know the saying “she would give the shirt off her back”…even if she didn’t have a shirt to give, she would find a way to get a shirt and not keep it for herself, but give it away to someone in need.
She was a wonderful daughter, sister, mother, aunt and friend to ALL OF US.
I asked my daughter taylor to tell me what she thought about aunt libby, and her reply was, “SHE WAS SO NICE TO ME”. My guess is that if I polled everyone in this room, that would be your same answer.
Ghandhi once said, “LIVE as if you were to die tomorrow. LEARN as if you were to live forever.”
May we all learn from libby and the kindness of her ways. LEARN to GIVE, to CARE, to SHARE until OUR LAST BREATH.
I once was fatherless,
a stranger with no hope;
Your kindness wakened me,
Awakened me, from my sleep
it’s ironic that libby died in her sleep…
Into marvelous light I'm running,
Out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross, you are the truth
You are the life, you are the way
Lift my hands and spin around,
See the light that I have found.
Oh the marvelous light
Marvelous light
Psalm 27:1 says that the lord is my light and the one who saves me
We must TRUST god. We must trust not only that HE does what is best, but that he knows what is ahead. Could death be god’s GRACE for libby? We ask for god’s grace, but his answer is not always the answer we want. We all know that libby has struggled daily with her diabetes and we must still believe that GOD IS IN CONTROL…he knew what was BEST for libby.
Corrie ten boom once said, “when the train goes through a tunnel and the world gets dark, do you jump out? Of course not. You sit still and TRUST the engineer to get you through”
One lady describes a unique experience in her life as this…
up ahead I saw three construction workers diligently working away in the heat, so I went up to them and asked if they wanted some water.. they said, “yes, please”. I went to the nearest store and bought 3 bottles of water. The workers were immensely pleased and wanted to pay for the drinks. I told them it was free. They were very shocked. This was a new experience for me also. I was never that generous, but more importantly, I would have never SEEN THEIR THIRST. Normally I would have walked past them, not thinking twice if they were thirsty.
LIBBY LOOKED FOR THIRSTY PEOPLE…
She DID FOR OTHERS with what she had until her last breath. She shared her home, her food, her LOVE everyday with someone. You all know the saying “she would give the shirt off her back”…even if she didn’t have a shirt to give, she would find a way to get a shirt and not keep it for herself, but give it away to someone in need.
She was a wonderful daughter, sister, mother, aunt and friend to ALL OF US.
I asked my daughter taylor to tell me what she thought about aunt libby, and her reply was, “SHE WAS SO NICE TO ME”. My guess is that if I polled everyone in this room, that would be your same answer.
Ghandhi once said, “LIVE as if you were to die tomorrow. LEARN as if you were to live forever.”
May we all learn from libby and the kindness of her ways. LEARN to GIVE, to CARE, to SHARE until OUR LAST BREATH.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
VISION WALK - be still and know that i am GOD
well, today was finally VISION WALK...taylor and i and a host of others had been waiting for the day when we could go support our new friends tiffany and holt...(small note, i believe everyone is our friend, we just haven't met them all yet)...taylor felt such a "connection" with holt, being that he was not "perfect", she felt like he was like her and has felt so comfortable with him...another sidenote: tiffany and todd are great parents in the fact that their children are some of the MOST POLITE children i have ever met...AND, they are ALWAYS full of encouragement...those who know me, know I LOVE THAT...everyone can use a little encouragement...well, anyway...i have had this "connection" with the VISION WALK as my grandmother had maccular degeneration and i saw her struggles (the bible i use now is her LARGE PRINT bible that i bought her one year), also taylor having irlen syndrome (along with her dyslexia) makes her have such sensitivity to light and eye strain, etc. follows us through most days...well, we woke up this morning seeing it rain (we immediately began looking for ponchos, umbrellas, etc. to take to the walk...NEVER EVER DID IT CROSS OUR MINDS NOT TO GO...we wouldn't let a little rain stop us!!...we had worked so hard "selling our carrots" (taylor and i tried to think of a creative way to collect $$ for the walk and we decided that since carrots are good for your eyes, and this walk definitely was about the eyes, that we would go to the store and buy REAL carrots (long green leaves and everything) and SELL THEM...it was easier to ask people to BUY A CARROT instead of just making a donation...NO ONE TOOK THEIR CARROTS BY THE WAY...we sold the same carrots over and over...WHAT FUN!! (you gotta think out of the box)...one thing i noticed about the morning was that taylor did not take her "purple glasses" and had their been SUN out she would have had no choice but to wear her "purple glasses" or wear her non-prescription dark sunglasses to combat the sun's glare...but it was raining and she walked out glassesless (yes, this is a word)...i began thinking that had it been a BRIGHT BEAMING SUNNY DAY what havoc it would have wreaked on SO MANY EYES at the walk...AND REMEMBER, THE EYES WERE WHY WE WERE THERE...is GOD in control...ABSOLUTELY!!! HE can adjust the easiest and most complex things in this world of ours...THANK YOU GOD FOR THE CLOUDS THIS MORNING!!! another point i realized was that even with ALL the people doing the walk, i walked 99% of the walk by myself...i had 3 miles of prayer and meditation, SMELLING THE RAIN, FEELING THE RAIN, SEEING EVERYTHING BURST WITH THE FRESH RAIN GREEN, WATCHING THE DUCKS, SEEING THE SPIDER CLING TO THE WEB AS THE RAIN MADE IT SO UNSTABLE...i walked almost 1 1/2 miles behind a girl who appeared to be about my age (walking with her dad i would guess) and her site dog (sorry i don't know the pc word for this)...I NOTICED THE DOG NEVER MISS A STEP THROUGH EVERY PUDDLE, knowing how my dogs react and DID react just this morning getting their paws wet...THIS DOG KNEW HIS JOB AND THIS GIRL DEPENDED ON HIM, rain would not change his ways...i fought back tears many, many times (shocking i know)...and MANY times the tears won...well, those tears, they're back as i write this...i'm sitting writing this in my writing room, just by candlelight, watching the glow of the candle put me in such a tranquil state while i sit here relecting HOW GOOD GOD IS!!! RAIN OR SHINE HE'S ALWAYS THERE! I ENCOURAGE YOU TO BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD!! love you all xoxoxo shell
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
a PRAYER for my FRIENDS
i haven't written in a while, but i have had quite an emotional day with medical concerns for some very dear friends of mine...i told them, (after i repeated it myself)...to repeat after me, "God doesn't give us more than we can take"...boy God must think they are really strong...help us Lord to lean on You when we get burdened...push us so hard that the only thing we can do to stay afloat is reach to You...sometimes we get going on our own and we forget that You are there with us...THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE...let us not forget...i pray for my friends tonight, that ANYTHING i may be going through will be revealed to me as MINIMAL compared to their concerns today...GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BRINGING THEM INTO MY LIFE...may they see YOU in me and truly know it will be ok...YOU ARE STILL IN CONTROL...help us to trust and NOT FORGET...I LOVE YOU, AND I LOVE THEM!!!
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